On Becoming – Transitions to Adulthood

I love working with young adults, they have a whole future ahead of them, yet the navigation into adulthood has many obstacles. Many college graduates leave college without a clue as to what they are going to do – they may have some vague idea about their interests, are not really sure how to identify who they are and how that factors into choosing their what- next situation going forward. 

This transition into what next planning is fraught with uncertainty and fear which often shows up as a long list of reasons for not being able to do something – this becomes the automatic default behavior.

When I was a car-pooling suburban parent I learned to speak less and listen more. A car ride with silence is good, it avoids irrelevant conversations and provides the space for what the real concerns are. I am not there to solve their problems, I am there to listen and be a parent, I am not their friend, (or career coach), I am there to give advice when asked, an opinion when required and the most important, I am there to give unconditional love.

In my role as a career coach I am the person providing the resources, tools and space to discover and honor their newly emerging adult and career identity. 

Sometimes a parent needs to be a coach too.

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3 Responses to “On Becoming – Transitions to Adulthood”

  1. jobsdbphilippines Says:

    Hi, I found this doing a search on career advice. 🙂 I think you’ve touched on something very important here.

    I’ve known many people my age (just out of school) who are still confused about what they’re interested in doing. -Many who have vaguely-formed ideas of who they want to be and are judged badly because they cannot make a decision. And then some, distressed about having had someone else (like their parents) choose their college courses and inevitably, their career paths.

    Your decision to allow your children to make their own choices, discover their identity and giving them all the support they may need is something that touches me. I wish everyone can have from their parents or from the people they look up to.

    Thanks for sharing this. 🙂

    • hba Says:

      Very insightful post on the uncertainty and fear of transitioning into adulthood. Some of that fear is associated with our perception of what others (people we don’t want to disappoint) may expect of us, that keeps us from following our instincts.

      Granted, we may not end up following through on our instincts, but at least we will have tried it on for size. Even if it doesn’t exactly fit, at least it will have been a choice that we can own rather than blame someone else for. Even better, the experience may just give us the clarity we need.

  2. gladyskartin Says:

    Thank you very much for taking the time to comment on my first post. I am glad you found it meaningful.

    I wish you much luck going forward, pay attention to what you are drawn to and it is usually what comes easiest to you. Don’t underestimate the value inherent in that.

    I was in my mid-forties when I finally figured it out, you will too!

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